Children ­ whose responsibility?

Children ­ whose responsibility? I see trees a green, Red roses too I see them bloom for me and you And I think to myself What a wonderful world! THESE ARE THE famous words of a song I used to hear as a child and often imagined the world as that. Everytime I see a rainbow, I would think of that song. I held on to what was sung in that song and believed that the world was indeed that perfect. I was a child then and my innocence was further encouraged by the wonderful childhood I had. There was so much love in the family and among friends. I believed that every hand-shake and "how do you do?" was really people telling me "I love you". I smile as I think of those times because even though it was very naive of me to live according to a song, I was really living in a wonderful world. And I was a child. This brings me to my thoughts o n ch i ld re n . I k n ow t h at t h e children of today and those of yesterday are different in many ways, but I am convinced that each child starts life looking for and needing the same things ­ love and acceptance. I b e li eve t h at t h o se t wo ing redients are the very core building blocks of any child's life. I write this with much pain in my heart thinking of a group of orphans I visited recently. Each of them has a story to tell ­ and each a tragedy no less. There is a certain kind of blankness and fear in their eyes. As I talked to them and ate with them, I realised that all they want is a friend who will treat them as a fellow human being ­ with respect and honour. These kids are between four to 11 years old but many of them have gone through experiences that no adult would desire. I was told about little Sam. This four-year-old lived on the streets of Chow Kit where both his parents were drug addicts. He slept along the sidewalks and never had a home from the time he was born. He was taught to identify the easy targets in the kopitiams while on his begging rounds and today, he can stand up to the older boys in the orphanage when bullied. But Sam had the traumatic experience of seeing his mother foaming at her mouth from a drug overdose and then ... dying in his arms. He was three then. Is this a wonderful world for Sam? Then there is May. This sevenyear-old is the latest addition to the orphanage. She is shy and reserved. When I spoke to her, she managed a quick smile but offered no answers. Her story is one of abuse ­ sexually and physically. Her father would send her to school but she never attended classes. A man would take her away and send her back to school later. What this man did to her is up to anyone's imagination, but when her father found out, this helpless little girl was beaten up. Was it her fault? She knew nothing of what was right or wrong because it was never taught to her. She keeps to herself now and hardly plays with the rest of the girls. Is this a wonderful world for May? Children are our future. Like it or not, we do not remain in this world forever. What we have and what we build now will inevitably be left to them to continue. Will they have what it takes to build better lives than what we have now? After all, this is our h o p e fo r t he m ­ th at ea ch generation will do better than the previous. If we want to give our children a better world to live in, we need to start investing in their lives. I am n o t ta l k i n g ab ou t m at er i a l possessions. They don't bring happiness if there is no proper g ove r na n c e. And p ro p er governance ­ be it of possessions or otherwise ­ is to be taught now. One way in which we can enable them to learn is to give them the opportunity to observe our lives ­ in short, we need to talk and spend time with them. What better way to learn from one's master than to sit at his feet. Children need to be loved and accepted ­ not compared with others and exhibited like trophies. We need to assure them of their place in society; we need to affirm their strengths and their individuality to build up their confidence; they need to be given space for mistakes. As we allow them to develop, we guide them along the way with good examples from our own lives. It starts with us as parents and family members ­ not with their teachers. While they too have a role to play, it behoves us to bring up children who will be the kind of citizens that we expect everyone else to be. Children's children are a crown to the aged and parents are the pride of their children. How apt! As we grow old, we look forward to having grandchildren ­ every grandparent I know beams when he or she talks about the grandchildren. It's a sign that our lives have come full circle. On the other hand, children will know when their parents have done their part in bringing them up in the way they know best even if they don't say so. I am very proud of my parents for what they have done for me. I am no perfect creature but I know as I know that they have given their all. And I in turn, will give it my best shot to bring up my child the best way I know how. Lauren Lim is a domestic minister, rusty musician and life-observer.